Thirty Minus One

Wow... it's been ages since I posted notes about my life's orchestra. Well, the tune has kinda been playing to a slow moody pace with intermittent staccatos here and there like...

Fantabulous trip to Halong Bay, Hanoi with dad and sis.



After 3 years, I finally found my new beau - Tim.

Very yummy-licious birthday lunch cooked by Nat

And my 28+1 (NOT 281!) birthday cake baked by Ash

Birthdays are milestones of life's journey. We can't help but stop, take stock and figure out what's next. This year's stock count didn't go down too well.

Well, I've been in Ipoh for a little more than a year now... the starting line of a long, daunting task of filling up dad's very big pair of shoes in the business. I have the perfect picture that says it all...

'nuff said!

For a city bumpkin with the pulse of rush hour madness running through my veins, living in Ipoh is like slamming the brakes of a Ferrari at 120mph. Whether the car cuts the corner and takes on a new direction OR skids right off the track to a grinding halt - the outcome is solely in the driver's hands.

But... through it all, I still believe that God is faithful and will not give up on me no matter how many times I've given up on Him. Behind my happy mask, a small voice is crying out desperately to regain control and I know He's listening.

The best birthday pressie I got this year is the devotional book - Give Me 40 Days. I'm excited and filled with expectation. I want to rediscover, rekindle and restore my first love for my Redeemer. I want the joy of the Lord that rejoices in every circumstance. I want clarity of purpose that is not about me but about Him. I want to worship my King freely with abandonment and extravagance.

So, how will the season of my twenties end? It starts with day 1 of 40...

Getting Into Perspective

Recently, I was racked in guilt and asked my sis if she ever felt bad about being born with a silver spoon in our mouth. She thought I'd finally blown it and gone nuts.

What started me on this guilt trip was that a colleague had to bang on the Education Board's doors to get into the right school and university so she wouldn't end up sewing shirt collars in a fabric factory while I got to pick and choose which private college/uni I wanted without ever taking it very seriously. Another experienced London by being a waitress for 6 months while I was sent to London for a holiday without having to pay a cent.

Ultimately, it was because of the mother of all comments "Aiya, you're the boss' daughter ma. We are ta kong chai only."

Even after my sister's shelling, it took me a while to struggle with my 'life of priviledge'. What did I do to deserve it and, worst of all, how much of it have I squandered without a care in the world? While I enjoyed this life of priviledge, it was ultimately at the expense of my dad's hard work.

Then, while I was walking my dog one sleepy morning, my perspective shifted to another angle just like that super cool scene in The Matrix. It's not about how I HAVE SPENT my life, rather how I WILL SPEND the rest of it.

Yes, I am different. Yes, I am priviledged. Yes, I have access to opportunities that others do not. Like Shakespeare said - "All the world's a stage. And all the men and women merely players." The ultimate tragedy is for me to deny my character and waste my purpose in God's stageplay.

Then today, while munching on my chap fan lunch in a small little kampung, this treasure of truth hidden within the last few pages of Richard Branson's book - Screw It, Let's Do It was a surprise assurance and affirmation. It's an exerp from Nelson Mandela's 1994 inaugural speech when he was elected President of South Africa:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be fabulous, brilliant, talented, gorgeous? Actually, who are you not to be, you are a child of God and playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, like children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in every one of us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give people permission to do the same."

So, what are you doing on this stage?